I think BLF (Book Launch Fear) is something we don’t talk about out of the shadows.
We talk about how excited we are to share a book and how happy we are with the finished product and how much we love our characters. But sometimes… sometimes… sometimes there’s a little fear in there too.
My next book, Secret Life (RVHS Secrets #2) is the second in my series of standalones around teens at Ridge View High – there’s soccer gods and painters and girly-girls and tomboys. There’s baseball players and cheerleaders and dancers. There’s secrets and betrayals and some of the best of friendships.
But, my next book has something I said I’d never write, but accidentally started the book and then didn’t stop until it was done.
It has a heroine with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.
Just like me.
Okay, not just like me — and that’s where my fear comes in.
Already, a couple of pre-readers have made comments that “someone with BDD wouldn’t do that” or “with BDD she wouldn’t think that or be like that.” It kind of blew my mind. And it scares the snot out of me.
I want to share a few very, very important things with everyone clearly:
- BDD, like all disorders, effects people at differing severity and in differing ways — Just like depression. No one is depressed in the same way. The difference can be extreme.
- Everything in my book is based off of my own feelings and thoughts OR those of other BDD women I’ve talked to. So, YES. Those things readers assume someone wouldn’t do or think? They’ve been done and thought. Even I’ve been surprised what women have shared around this!
- Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean it isn’t true.
- And, finally, because this has happened with my beta readers (and they’re very sweet in their concern for me) – the extreme action Rachel takes in the book isn’t something I did — but I can completely understand why she does.
This is not a book about me. Or my journey. This in no way is a memoir or self-indulgent writing. Rachel is a character. A very specific one. But, just like every character, she should feel real because a writer draws characters that way… not because of me the writer personally.
With all that in mind, I worry. A lot. I have had friends write about things that people think they understand. They think, I know someone who XYZ’d or I have ABC or I understand LMN a certain way. And then they assume that’s the ONLY way something can happen or be experienced.
My hope is that, telling Rachel’s story will give people a glimpse of what BDD is like for some people. That they’ll maybe not be able to understand exactly how someone who struggles with these things feels or reacts, but they’ll understand that for those people, this is reality. Everyone’s reality is different.
I honestly hope that people look at the book and have empathy for others. We all have our struggles. Every one of us. I hope that a little bit of care toward other people can make everyone a little happier.
Also, since you’re reading this, to everyone who won’t take no for an answer when I say “No thank you” to having my picture taken — this is why. Photos are one of my remaining triggers. I’ve found a lot of balance after decades of work. Sometimes I get to say “Yes!” to the pictures, but, yeah – Be kind. Owning a camera doesn’t give you the right to put someone on the spot. Sometimes people don’t want their picture taken for a reason. Show love. Say okay. Move on. WE ALL HAVE A THING. RESPECT PEOPLE’S THING.
kk,
Bria
Secret Life comes out in 2 weeks. More on it HERE.
WOW.
Bria, this post impacted me in a HUGE way. My upcoming release, Damsel Distressed is about Imogen.
Imogen is NOT me.
But there is SO much of me in her.
The way she feels about food and her body. Many of the fears she battles. Several of her deepest insecurities are mine too.
Already, I’ve experienced that twinge of pain when a reader says, “that’s not what disordered eating looks like” or “that wouldn’t really happen.”
It would.
And it has.
Not only to me, but to countless other people who experience life in similar ways.
Anyway, this was lovely and timely and very much appreciated.
I already exalted it on twitter, but wanted to leave a comment for you as well. Thank you for saying this and sharing it as well.
xo
Kelsey
Thanks — I think it’s just so important to remember that everyone’s Truth and Reality is different.
Just because you or your friend or a book you read or a movie or an after school special told you ABC looked like XYZ doesn’t mean that’s true across the board.
Good luck with Imogen 😉
I’m sure your writing will strike a chord with many readers out there. And yes, I think Book Launch Fear is a real thing!! Of course, exciting too!
Thanks! I think so too… but we’re supposed to put on our Happy Excited Faces, ya know? 😉
Thanks so much for sharing that blog with us readers;) Our teenagers today go through so much and so many of those things others just can’t comprehend. What we feel is real to us, regardless if anyone else understands it. Thanks for giving teens and adults a voice. I think we all seek compassion and acceptance from those around us and what better way than talking about, and educating others, about what make us all unique.
1000Xs this Angie!
It’s disheartening when people forget that we all deal with things our own way. There is no “right” way to act when you have a disease, an addiction, a disorder, an assault.
can i get an amen to that!
Bria, I <3 this post so much. First of all, I want to puke every time I press publish. I'm always terrified! BLF is real!
Also, this is so the way I felt about The Trouble With Goodbye. Leigh Anne isn't me. I didn't live through her exactly situation. But I understand her. When someone attacks her in a review, it breaks my heart. Putting yourself out there through a story like this that is so close to your heart can be truly terrifying, but know that you are incredibly brave and beautiful. Even if some don't 'get' it, there will most definitely be some who do. There will be people who see themselves differently and who feel understood for the first time ever because of a story like this. I can't wait to read it. Thanks for sharing this.
So true!