VOTING CLOSED
OK, ONCE AGAIN:
Here’s the deal: a few lines were outed by loved ones. If that’s why you’re here, please don’t vote. If someone gets a suspicious voting pattern again, they will be disqualified. Also, please remember – I can see today’s and yesterday’s IP addresses…so, let’s all just not risk it. Okay?
This round you still get THREE VOTES. Vote once but for three different titles. Do not vote for one book three times. No. Multiple address votes get deleted.
ALSO: Yesterday’s comment winner is…. ANNE GASTON. Anne, you can pick between a copy of FINDING YOUR WRITER’S VOICE, one of my YA or Rom Com ebooks, or a $5 GC for Amazon. LET ME KNOW briaquinlan AT aol.
So, here we go! Round 2! JUST A REMINDER: This should be more than “I love XXX genre” – this is best lines. So, if you don’t read something, but you’re like, THAT’S ONE HECK OF AN OPENING LINE – keep an open mind voting.
CHIME, YA Sci Fi
I opened the pantry to get a box of cereal, and my brother’s AK-47 fell over with a clang at my feet. I jerked out the magazine, pulled the bolt to check the chamber and popped out the round.
A COMPLEX SOLUTION, YA Romantic Suspense
Gripping the penknife in my pocket, I shuffled down the hall, my pulse racing. The heavy wooden doors thudded shut as the buzz of voices died away.
HELL’S PARADISE
Ghost had grown accustomed to the shadows.
Living in darkness had become a haven and a prison sentence.
RECIPE OF LOVE, Contemp Romance
Micah Rivard would have much rather been in the kitchen than the interview chair he was currently sitting. He had a restaurant opening in less than two months, and instead of getting smaller his to-do list was getting longer.
AT FIRST BLUSH, Contemp Romance
The door to the Happy Clam Family Restaurant blew open, bringing in a gust of cold air and the haunting ghost from Hope Windward’s past. Confusion and suspicion swirled in her belly, working its way up her esophagus, nearly choking her with fright.
KISMET, Rom Suspense
“911, what is the address of your emergency?” He had been a dispatcher so long that the words just fell out of his mouth when answering the phone.
RED, YA Paranormal Romance
I closed my eyes and raised my nose to the wind hoping for a scent of the girl. It was there, the cloying ballroom scent of lavender…and him.
ONE LAST OBJECTION, Contemp Romance
“Get your ass in here and make love to me.” Maggie fisted his polo and yanked him into her condo.
LIFE RIGHT NOW, YA Rom Com/Chick Lit
“Do you think you could squeeze an entire life into one day?”
It wasn’t the question that froze my brain–it was the girl.
BLINDFOLDED, Contemp Romance
“Another day, another date, another dollar, who shall I be today?” I smooth my dress and give the doorman a wink as I walk through the main door of the luxurious Titan Hotel.
BLESSED, Romance – Other
A meeting package bound in black spiral coils landed on the keyboard of Darryl’s laptop. Only one person possessed this kind of audacity.
MIDNIGHT’S BALANCE, Paranormal Romance
“If you take another Instagram snap, I’m going to feed you to the alligator.”
She didn’t acknowledge the threat, but waved glitter tipped fingers in my direction, and continued tapping her phone in a blaze of glory.
CASANOVA EXPOSED, Contemp Romance
Goodbye dignity.
Hovering over a toilet in a stall with her borrowed cocktail dress squeezed between her
knees to keep it from falling in had to be the final nail in Kate Vernon’s dignity.
THE STORY OF US, YA Romance
Billy sprang from the chair in front of the desk. Hot coals bubbled in his chest.
THE WESTERMAN AFFAIR, Non-Regency Historical Romance
Charles Westerman sipped his champagne and leaned against a yellow-veined marble column in the noisy and crowded foyer of Rutford House. He surveyed the guests in search of a familiar face—or, at least, an inviting one.
A TIME FOR US, Contemp Romance
Once aboard the Piedmont jet, Matthew Woods scowled at the flight attendant then waited for a certain brunette—twenty minutes and two shots of bourbon later, he still waited. His cell phone pinged: “Stuck in traffic, be there soon.”
UNTITLED #1, Paranormal Romance
One can hear the Earth in the absence of human noise.
Here, high in the jagged mountains, the valley far below and the empty sky above, Micah could hear it whispering to him.
UNCONTROLLED HOPE, Paranormal Romance
Beneath the inky black of a moonless night, Nyah Kendrick hiked through the dense Maine forest, her heart racing with anticipation of the hunt. The artic wind rattling the branches above her carried the clean scent of fresh snow mixed with the stench of the humans waiting to die.
ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, Contemp Romance
Taking a deep breath, Annie Becker readjusted her grip and gently squeezed the trigger. She zeroed in on the target down range and fired off ten rounds in quick succession.
NINJA, Sci-fi Romance
If you have a name, you are not a ninja. If you have been seen, you are not a ninja.
HIS DARK TEMPTATION, Paranormal Romance
Dorran took a step into the hotel room situated above one of the taverns in the Temple Bar District and cursed every undying god he knew of.
He had been searching for his female, his mate, for almost a thousand years and she had been in this very room within the last twenty-four hours.
LOVE’S NO JOKE, Romance – other
The brunette inching up to the Blackjack table had the perfect mix of resting bitch face, an obscenely short skirt, and red patent leather “f&@k me” heels. Basically catnip to Mara Antonini.
UNTITLED #2, Contemp Romance
Genevieve could see the smoke rising from the engine of the rental sedan only because it twirled in front of the headlights. No better end to a day of arguing with an airline than being overcharged for a rental car that breaks down three miles outside of town.
Her Husband’s Mistress
This was really hard. Some that I liked the first round fizzled out with the second line. Others that were borderline first round really brought it home with their second line. And three votes just isn’t enough for all the wonderful entries!!
I had a tough time narrowing it down to three, since there were four I really liked. But I think the sentences that are more concise, more to the point, draw me in. Suspense is also a key element in those first few sentences. Great job everyone!
I agree with Nancy and Susan, so I won’t repeat. I particularly like the conciseness of “Hell’s Paradise”. There’s a lot of impact there in two short sentences. Loved it and will be adding that construction to my tool box. Thank you.
On another note, knowing the work of some of the contestants, I’ve placed a wager with myself as to who the work belongs to. Why? That’s how distinctive the voices are in just two phrases. Well done.
And thanks again, Bria, for organizing this for us.
I didn’t think I’d change my mind after the first round, but adding a second line shifted my thoughts and desire.
Second lines. Wow. It seems like nearly all the fist lines I liked fell flat on the second line. And many of the first lines I was so so on added a second line that by itself wasn’t spectacular, but partners with the first in a way that alludes to a very good story being spun.
First person pretty much always puts me off, as does present tense. Stopped cold on esophagus, ruined the moment that was building. I initially liked Her Husband’s Mistress, even though many had commented on the long opening sentence. Followed by a second long sentence was a lot for me.
Wow! This got even harder with the addition of the second line! Only three votes? *whimpers*
Thanks Bria for offering this contest. It really is a great lesson in how every line matters! I’m learning a lot from both the entries and the comments. 🙂
So funny that with the addition of the second line, I actually noticed entries that I completely missed the first time. I was like, wait, are some of these new? NO! It just becomes different when there’s more. This is a great exercise in the power of language and how our brains process words. Also? Makes me rethink things like tag lines and blurbs. Love this contest, thanks Bria. <3
Me too – amazing what a second line can do. Plus, I have to say – so wish we had about 10 votes each. Really, so many great lines in both rounds, whether they are genres I usually read or not. And I’m sure I may change votes again in the next round. Can’t wait to see what happens.
I’d meet Dorran in Temple Bar any time…
Here, here! ?
What an amazing difference in some of the entries. The ones that continued with unexpected details kept my attention this time. I needed to have four votes, but I voted only for three. 😉
I thought this would be easier not harder!
So, I changed my votes around a little. I still love a lot of them.
The NINJA one still intrigues me. I thought it would lose me with line two. But, the voice is really sucking me in.
I didn’t know where Life Right Now was going, but the next line didn’t take the next step I thought it would, so still intrigued.
Chime was cooler in the second round than the first to me bc we see the main character handle the gun like a professional, not back away from it. I just realized I’ve been assuming it’s a her….Now I’m wondering.
I’m a sucker for chef stories, so Recipe for Love has my attention. The set up is good, but not as suck-you-on as some of the others.
The two shifter ones definitely have me coming back for more (Red and Uncontrolled Hope) but UH kind of made me back away bc the human part made me wonder if it’s post apoc.
Hell’s Paradise – it’s not typically looking like a book I’d read, but I’m loving the succinct open. And, the voice is so clear and consistent in this one too.
Man this is so hard. There’s few here that I’d shrug off at all. Can’t wait to see line 3!
Funny how much adding a second line can change my thoughts on the story. I didn’t think I would change my mind from the first round, but I ended up switching my votes. And I definitely needed to be allowed four votes. Three was way too hard. But I followed the rules. 🙂
HIS DARK TEMPTATION sounds suh-weet! “Cursed every undying god he knew of” just sounds interesting, because I love things like that like mythology and the like. Also I like the name Dorran. Waiting for more!
A COMPLEX SOLUTION & HELL’S PARADISE are pulling me in!
Add me to the list of those who changed her mind with the second sentence. I was really surprised by this. I kept one from the first round, but found two new ones that drew my attention. For me, I’m drawn to openings that raise questions and keep me wondering. I like the shorter, snappier openings. Next to the shorter lines, I found the longer sentences to be tedious.
What I think are good lines is more dependent on the genre than I thought. There are some genres that I’m totally not the audience for and though I recognize the quality of some of these lines, I’d be more inclined to keep reading something in my preferred genres.
I agree – but then I’m also surprised. Ninja jumps out at me and I’m not a romance sci fi reader. So, it’s interesting to read just the lines and then go back and look at the title and genres. Voting feels very involved to me! LOL
I guess I may have approached these second lines a little differently. I was looking for continuation of tone, for story to start building after the initial hook. Oddly enough, I think some of these entries are going to enter make-or-break territory with the third line so I was reading with that in mind as well– whose third line did I *really* want to see.
And now we wait.
Lots of inspiration here. It was hard to choose just three.
I dropped two of my first line choices and went in a direction I didn’t think I’d go but was very intrigued by where the second line took me…actually more to the paranormal. I’ve discovered that I like lines that take me right into the action, although I’m neither a fan of first person, nor short choppy lines. As others have said, it was difficult to choose only three.
I think this is a brilliant exercise in how to grab your reader and we’ll all learn from this. Thanks again, Bria.
Good luck to all.
I didn’t vote for Ninja. Yet Ninja is the one whose 3rd line I’m most curious about. I feel like the first two lines are a setup to a good punch line.
2nd lines change everything! I didn’t expect my votes to change as much as they did from the first round. To echo what some other people mentioned, a so-so first line really changed with the 2nd line and a great first line lost some oomph.
Ninja did a great job building the suspense and continuing the theme. I don’t think I voted for it the first round (goldfish memory) but the building theme caught my interest.
Regardless of the genre I am not a fan of anything too graphic. The shorter lines that gave me some good info caught my interest. Her Husband’s Mistress sounds like it could be a good story but the lines are too long to hold my interest. Anything with too much description gets me skimming rather than reading. Other lines like Ak-47 caught me by surprise the first round but lapsed into practicality with the 2nd line.
Great job everyone, great entries!
That’s so funny bc the second line of the Ak-47 won me over. The fact that it was like, Oh, ho-hum, another automatic rifle just sitting around the kitchen, I’ll just completely unarm it… do do doooo… Like, no big deal. 😉
Second lines toik alot of these in unexpected directions. Knocked two former favs completely out of contention, and made a couple so-so into “what next”. Can’t wait for line three.